LHP: My Story

My life began as a Roman Catholic and I remained a luke-warm one for many years. The mystery of the rituals always intrigued me. But throughout my life, there was always a hunger for the occult, especially anything to do with communicating with spirits. My Catholic education provided me a background in the Latin language which has been very helpful in my study of spirits and "Diabolism," "Devilism" Satanism. It also launched my interest in Renaissance magic and alchemy.

About eleven years ago, I became interested in vampires and was bound to a female vampire spirit by the name of Karina, by a "Blood Witch" in Poland. Unfortunately, she has been lost to me 😥 (more about that below). I liked her very much and would love to have her return. A friend of mine who is a Witch told me that Karina is terrified of Lilith and has probably run away to avoid Lilith. But it was the experience with Karina that truly opened me up to practicing the LHP. I read everything I could get my hands on about everything-occult. I listened to every video I could find (and I found a lot of them). I then became obsessed with Lilith (I use the word obsessed intentionally) and had experienced possession on several occasions. My experiences with Lilith are too many to recount and some of those experiences were not pleasant but I accept that as "coming with the territory." Bu full disclosure: I am guilty of doing many things that have both disappointed and angered her.

Through my relationship with Lilith, my path has become more "sinister" and more serious. Lilith has led me to levels in my beliefs and workings that I could have never conceived of in the past. I can honestly say that my relationship with Lilith has changed my life and I don't mean just my spiritual life.

It was Lilith who led to me to E.A. Koetting and his workings and colleagues. I have been a member at BALG.com for may years now. And it was through E.A. that I was led to the works of Asenath Mason and it was those works that have assisted me in my relationship with Lilith.

I have also taken a deep-dive into Luciferianism through the works of Michael W. Ford.

Most recently, I have become deeply interested in practicing "Enochian" magic from where I take my current screen name, Madimi's Prom Date.

Like most of the people who have posted here, I am a solitary practitioner. But that is not by choice. I have just not found a group / Coven with whom I feel truly comfortable. However, I am pleased to see that I am getting more comfortable here at Satania. And I certainly hope Satania can be my new spiritual home.

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Ruby Flames

Sometimes the site does show various errors I suppose when retrieving information but, after a couple of seconds it returns to normal. I just usually refresh or wait a bit and that could be technical issues and/or spiritual.

I don't think it's a 'captain obvious' meaning because, there is conflict between the mind and heart and I try to find the most reasonable explanation from the images I see during meditation. Usually when I meditate I allow my conscious mind exhaust itself for a good 15 minutes before allowing my subconscious mind to take over (although, I noticed when I exercise beforehand my mind gets straight to the point). Once it gets around 40 minutes that's when the images appear and it only feels like a couple of seconds in that deep meditative state where as soon as I get up it seems surreal and there's a sense of loss regarding time a reality.

I've been pursing the vampyre path through meditation but, nothing with rituals or spells because I wanted to make sure I have a strong foundation first and properly understand the materials, beliefs, potential risks, etc which is why I had bought Ford's vampyre book which was far beyond anything I've ever done and it would take time for me to get to that level. Not to mention, he does say it's very dangerous and recognizes it's not a path for every Luciferian.

I have seen other styles of Vampyrism online and don't mind doing energy work but, as an eclectic I wasn't for sure if what I would be doing would be considered legitimate. I have seen more vivid images with vampyrism such as sucking the blood of a woman who was willing during meditation, working in conjunction with the moon, lunar crystals and bats. Whereas Serpentine it's not strong (could be because it's still new for me) It's difficult to see images because they are shrouded in darkness and even then it's just serpent eyes, ruby and opal crystals and shadow-like snakes. Although, once I gotten to the 40 minute mark I did see myself (I assume higher self?) with red eyes and golden tongue and that was it.

I think it kind of clashes with me because I was hoping to only have one path to keep my practices and beliefs simple for me so I can use it on a daily basis but, I don't know anymore. If at the very least it could be the battle of my everyday conscious mind vs the 'other' mind.

I think you give good advice to look into the path of the dragon again, I only barely touched the surface of it. I know that fire magick is something I'm drawn to more than other elemental styles such as air, water, or earth ( I was born under an earth sign) so perhaps that's another reason.

Ruby Flames

Replying to

The ritual had gone well with some hiccups. I had burned my paper that I had written with my desire by sticking it in the candle hoping it would be a slow burn but, it reacted quickly (cheap notebook paper -- I'll eventually buy spellwork paper) so the first two papers didn't even make it in the cauldron as I had hoped (tonight I'll stick the paper in the pot to keep the ashes in there). Afterward I did allow the candle to burn out almost completely where there was barely any candle left before tossing it out in the end. While the candle was burning I did the child's pose and felt a lot of orgasms as I had played the Serpentine track.

I know Necrossia said (regarding the Vampyre coven transformation service) something on the lines of the kundalini regarding to sexual energy changing. That could be part of it.

I don't know if the two people on the card was Samael and Lilith but, I can see the resemblance.

As far as the crystals, I do have an opal, tiger's eye (I had bought this during my early paganism years was trying to connect with Bastet) and a pink crystal (not sure what kind as it was given to me by my ex's friend who passed away last year). If i can't afford the crystals I'll just visualize them.

After the session I had felt energized and a weight lifted off my shoulder.

Then this morning I took my cloth outside to shake off the ashes and felt happy. Even when cleaning up the cauldron with water and watching it fill up felt nice as it felt I was developing a connection to my witchhood.

I suppose I need to get a broom too to clear energies.

I honestly didn't know the Vatican worked with spirits that a lot fundamentalist churches would consider 'heathen'. Most of the people who I knew where fundies thought every religion outside of theirs (even other Christians---they particularly hate progressive Christians) were the product of the 'devil' from Yoga, chakras, deities, crystals, etc.

I think Az is Lilith maybe a different face of hers as Az I believe could shapeshift. Yeah, he's pretty deep with philosophical texts however, I think his form of magick is complicated for the likes of me and it takes some time to fully understand on a deeper level as one thing leads to another.

Yeah, he just wants me to be happy and vice versa I unironically am able to use my craft to help him albeit subtly.

My ex well, he was like that with everyone and had taken joy out of saying,"Oh, I don't believe in X because, "science" says...XYZ." because, most people were somewhat religious (albeit loosely RHP) and said they used it as a way to cope with death...Not only was this not true and making blanketed statements but it pushes on the line of Scientism. A dangerous mindset of saying,"Science is the only source of knowledge and that's it." Not to mention when I did point out his faulty 'logic' of trying to act like the biggest brain in the group of being 'oh-so-smart' he would get so angry and threaten to kick me out (one time it was the car).

Of course, I had told my husband some of his odd behaviors (also bigoted) and he was shocked. However, he had to be learning it from somewhere which was sadly his covert (possibly) narcissistic bigoted father. I remember you asking if I was in Texas but, I used to live there for 4 years in Houston (most people are down to earth) however, seeing oddities from that state with strange and hateful laws...It makes a lot of sense why certain viewpoints were popular and why the family were beyond toxic.

I'm sorry that your wife doesn't support your craft and is hostile. Does she make rude remarks? I feel like not having a support or platform can make someone's spiritual path difficult and questioning themselves. LHP is already (well, any religion that isn't mainstream) challenging because we're automatically slapped with stereotypes and misconceptions even by those who are not Christian (usually the closed-minded ones...The lady that was a pagan and a witch I used to work with was open minded and asked about Baphomet and sex cults).

I've noticed MWF does that as well, I'm not sure why but, I haven't read anymore of it because I want to get better at casting low black magick first.

I think I'm going to look into a straight-draconian path first to gain understanding.

BTW, MWF does talk about Qlippoth I haven't learned anything about it but, I remember seeing it in the glossary pages of Beginning Luciferian Magick.